July 17 08

Hello everyone!  This isn’t Ali.  This is Heather from Queen of Shake-Shake.  WAIT!  Have pity and don’t click away.  

See, Ali asked me to guest post on her blog while she is gone to the Conference That Shall Not Be Named.  I don’t know if you’ve seen Ali in a bikini or not, but I have and, damn, who can say no to her hot lusciousness?  

So here I am.

Speaking of The Conference That Shall Not Be Named – the one that causes me to turn into a gianormous green monster?  The conference so popular with female bloggers that it’s sold out? The parties start tonight, as if you other Incredible Sulks who are also not going haven’t heard all over the blogiverse.

Maybe you are like me and your head explodes each time you read about other people going, even if you love them to pieces and don’t really resent that they are going.  It’s just that you are not going and not attending parties, not meeting people, not getting swag bags with $100 vibrators in them and no drink tickets for you.  And that makes your head explode in envy.

Well my fellow pity-party-goers, I have found a cure for the Incredible Sulk. You only have to Reach Out.

What?  You aren’t subscribed to BlogHer’s conference announcements because you fear permanent brain damage from repetitive head explosions?  Me too.

If it weren’t for BlondeMom asking me if I’m going to the BlogHer thang in Nashville, I would have continued to live under a rock of sulky ignorance, possibly with a football helmet on my head to contain the mess of numerous cranial explosions. 

It turns out BlogHer is doing six mini-conferences in October and four out of the six are in the South.  When I found out about these conferences, I went from this…

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to this.

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See how I’m almost completely back to normal?  I have only a tinge of green envy left, but other than that, I pretty much look normal.  I’m sure this almost complete return to normalcy is because I’m not going to one BlogHer conference, but two.  That’s right, two!  I’ll be attending the conferences in Atlanta and New Orleans.  

On top of that, Megan from Velveteen Mind and I are traveling together to Atlanta. So now all of you out there who think the illustrious, awesome Megan only farts sunshine and daisies can be jealous of me.

Ha!

Shhhhh, I’ll be in a car with her for 10 hours round trip.  I just bet I’ll be able to verify if her farts do indeed smell like sunshine and daisies.  Because who can go 10 hours without farting?  Not me!  At least not without my ass exploding, and since I just got my head to stop exploding, I don’t want to start with the other end.

And now that I just wrote that mental thought out loud, I bet you are ALL SO JEALOUS of Megan riding with me. 

Double ha!

While I still hate missing the big party this weekend in SanFran, these mini-conferences do make up for it just a bit.  In fact, this could be a really great thing!

These small conferences will be like dipping a toe into the BlogHer pool.  I’ll learn the ropes of BlogHer conferences on a smaller scale so that when I go to the big summer conference next year (and I am going, even if I have to sell photos of Ali in a bikini to inappropriate magazines), I will be super cool!  I’ll know exactly what to wear, how to style my hair, what shoes to take, and the best practical jokes to pull.  

And I have more time to lose weight.

Triple ha!

I can see the headlines now…

The bloggers formerly known as The Incredible Sulks take Reach Out by storm!

(This is where you former Incredible Sulks like me stand up and say you are going too.)

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  1. Very cute and creative post!

    Multi-Tasking Mommys last blog post..Widening Wednesday Week 28

    Comment by Multi-Tasking Mommy on July 17, 2008
  2. Wait, I’m going to get a FREE $100 vibrator?! Score! 😉

    Kristies last blog post..I suck at a lot of things, but I suck the most at packing.

    Comment by Kristie on July 17, 2008
  3. Are there any Reach Out conferences in Canada?

    Chantals last blog post..Morning Person

    Comment by Chantal on July 17, 2008
  4. WOO HOO! Am glad I made you go from green to fabulous, if not fartlicious. 😉

    And I think we should go out and stuff our faces at Krystals this weekend to stop ourselves from blog stalking everyone at BlogHer on Twitter and Flickr. I mean, not that I would blog stalk people.

    Cough.

    Jamie (BlondeMom)s last blog post..Considering Banning Sponge Bob Indefinitely

    Comment by Jamie (BlondeMom) on July 17, 2008
  5. hahaha! hey greens a good colour for you.

    Comment by LAVENDULA on July 17, 2008
  6. What a fun post – anything that includes farting gets an auto ticket into my google reader!

    H.E.Eiglers last blog post..Sick of free stuff yet? Who Who would be?

    Comment by H.E.Eigler on July 17, 2008
  7. I figure if I start RIGHT NOW, I’ll be slim for next year’s Blogher. MAYBE.

    Rebeccas last blog post..Five Minutes for ME.

    Comment by Rebecca on July 17, 2008
  8. I love you to flippin’ death, Heather! (And so does a certain someone that you are driving 10 envious hours with to Atlanta. We had a loverly conversation about your loverliness not two hours ago!)

    I’d totally fight off scads of green monsters if it meant you could be here, dammit.

    Loralees last blog post..BlogHer 08 (*Edited to include important tidbit from Loralee **Then from Jon ***Then from Loralee again. Yeah, I know. WHY have a guest blogger at this point? Hee!)

    Comment by Loralee on July 17, 2008
  9. I am going too! (I’m assuming the HER of BlogHer is only a suggestion. Not sure what I’d do with the vibrator, though.)

    Comment by Matthew on July 18, 2008
  10. Sorry that im messaging you on here i couldn’t find your email link

    I was going through your page and really enjoyed it. I thought that you might be a great candidate for a program i’m working on

    I’m contacting you because I work for a word of mouth marketing company based in Toronto. For the program that I am currently working on I’m looking for women that are influential and have blogs like yourself with hopes that you’d be willing to participate in a short survey about our beauty/hygiene products. If you qualify you would be sent some free products for you to try out and review.

    The survey doesn’t take much of your time and id love to get a chance to connect with you and get your valuable feedback!

    Please feel free to email me back at cynthia@matchstick.ca and you can let
    me know if your interested and how best to further contact you.

    Thanks in advance,

    Cynthia
    Matchstick

    Comment by Cynthia on July 18, 2008
  11. all that sulking for nothing?

    moosh in indy.s last blog post..SanFransesame Street

    Comment by moosh in indy. on July 19, 2008
  12. Aw, i luv you to pieces, too. And even though I am here in Sf, I don’t know how the hell people have time to blog and conference. My website still has my post about dread diseases up!

    anneglamores last blog post..Anne Glamore’s PSA

    Comment by anneglamore on July 19, 2008
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