Things that still give me anxiety even with the anti-anxiety medication:

Being late. 

My elderly dog, who is now completely blind and terrified of the steps in our home.

Finding parking downtown. 

Things that do not give me anxiety with the anti-anxiety medication:

Dancing in front of people.

Coronavirus.

The COYOTE SITUATION.

It’s funny, what this anxiety medication has given me (other than these extra 30 pounds). Obviously I’m still anxious about many things, the list is obviously longer than the three I’ve chosen to include here. Because, friends, let’s face it. I’m raising three teenagers at one time. And that’s a stress story for another day. Or three.

EEEEEEEEEP. 

But here’s the thing. As someone who has always been a card-carrying member of the germ-o-phobe club, as someone who will not go near one of your kids if the other has a gastro bug, as someone who tries not to use public bathrooms, as someone who is already a chronic handwasher and face non-toucher, why am I not freaked out about Coronovirus? 

It’s actually giving me a little bit of anxiety how non-worried I am. 

My friends are stocking up on medicines and non-perishables. They are constantly updating me on where new cases are popping up, that day schools in New York are closing, that there was a case at my daughter’s University. And I don’t blame them one bit. I’ve watched Outbreak and I’ve played Pandemic. I SO get it.

And I’m just all…wash your hands, don’t touch your face, we’re going to be FINE. 

And then there are The Coyotes. They’ve been living in our neighborhood, wandering around in front of my synagogue. They’ve been spotted hanging around in the park, walking down the sidewalk, checking out the public garbage cans. Everyone I know is freaking out. My friends are signing petitions, sharing pictures and worries in a whatsapp group. And in my head, I’m like, I should be freaking out too! I don’t blame anyone in this group one bit. I’ve seen The Lion King. Wait, maybe those are hyenas.

So again, as someone who *should* be anxious about this situation, I mean, I don’t even feel all that comfortable around my brother’s dog and that’s just because of siiiiiize, HOW am I  just all…exercise caution, don’t feed them, we’re going to be FINE. 

Seriously, who am I right now? 

Other than, you know, a person who can now dance like a total maniac and doesn’t care who is watching? And, um, has no problems sharing these photographs, apparently.