It took until Day 3 of Ali Goes Back To Work Full Time for us to have our first meltdown.

Now, I’m not at liberty to disclose who had the meltdown, and not just because it may have been me, {Narrator: It wasn’t} but since my prediction was that this would happen on Day 2, maybe this can be considered a win of some kind.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a 9-5 in-office job.

I think the last time was when I was working downtown at Canadian Family when the kids were still wee and called me from school all day because they forgot their lunches or their socks were wet from jumping in the puddles at recess. (Oh wait, scratch that, they still do this.) But it was a long time ago. The true beauty of working in writing and social media and communications and digital marketing is that you never need a physical office space to work; as long as you have your smartphone with you. This, by the way, is also the true horror of working in writing and social media and communications and digital marketing because there’s no such thing as a 9-5 work day. When your work is in your actual pocket, your shift looks more like 9am-9am.

I am really looking forward to this new chapter. I’m excited about the job and the challenges it will bring. I am only three days in and I’m already feeling like I have contributed to the organization and I’m already learning new things (Hello HTML, I knew we’d meet at some point!)

And, you know, having a shih-tzu as my only co-worker often got a little, um, sad.

And there’s something so satisfying about saying, “No, love, I’m at work. I can’t just run over to school and bring you that math binder you left on the dining room table. You’re going to have to problem-solve this one on your own, and then maybe tomorrow you won’t leave that math binder on the dining room table.” So, so satisfying.

I’ll be honest, it was a little bit of a tough blow to realize that I wasn’t going to be able to make my photography business a full-time job that could support three children and their hefty tuitions. It was, however, much less of a blow to realize that it wasn’t because I am not skilled enough behind the lens. I am. I know this now. Instead, I have come to realize that I can’t take my business full time because I am a) not aggressive enough as a businesswoman and b) I value my time with my family too much. The thing about amazing and incredible photographers is that they are working A LOT. In addition to spending time at the actual events they are shooting — and keep in mind that shooting time at a typical bar or bat mitzvah can last from 3:30pm until well past midnight. And that’s before all the culling, the editing, the preparing for the client, the sending to the client, and then any additional work like albums and prints.

So I made the choice to be choosy. And be a part-time photographer. Because I love, love, love my clients and I sure love being behind that camera to capture your babies, your families, and your simchas.

But then I made the choice to look for a job.

(And just wait until I tell you all about the interview process.)

(Why does no one write about the interview process?)

But this is all so new. And new can be hard.

There’s just a lot more thinking and mental tetris + frogger that now needs to take place. And I will get there. The whole family will. And there will be food in the fridge — at some point — and the laundry will get done and I will actually figure out how to navigate the maze-like underground parking garage at work.

Which reminds me, I really have to reschedule that mid-day dentist appointment for next week.

*Leap.*